I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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