yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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