how can u be prego again
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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