i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
