They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
