Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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