why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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