Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
