I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
