Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize