We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
