Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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