which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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