he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
