dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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