i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
