So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
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She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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