just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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