sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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