Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
