he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize