"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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