"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
