Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
