singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
