If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so let's talk penis.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
