At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you had me at cake vodka
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
