Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
birth control should be required to get into college
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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