haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
