And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize