this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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