Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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