So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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