this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
