Old men and throwing up are my life now.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
