Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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