so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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