So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
