They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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