Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
