my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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