After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
