she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
