9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
