I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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