This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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