He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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