my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
