Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
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I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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