HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
