walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
