Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
