then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize