i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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