No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
How does one acquire holy water?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
