i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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