The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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