bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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