I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
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He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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