I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize