Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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