You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
