their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
