Whod you bang
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Randomize